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I was sexually abused by an older girl/an adult woman. I must be lesbian because I was sexually aroused by what happened... Abuse is an awful thing to experience. It takes courage to admit that you were abused, and it's important to tell someone you trust and to get help in working through the effects of the abuse. Abuse is a very confusing experience. A girl or young woman who has been abused may believe many things that are not true. For example: * "I deserved it." That's not true. It doesn't matter who you are, where you've been, or what you've done in life. NO ONE deserves to be abused or mistreated. EVERYONE should be treated with respect. * "It's my fault." You may feel that it is your fault, but that's not true either. This woman chose to take advantage of her age or power over you to do things that are wrong and hurtful. You did not make her abuse you. She chose to do it and she is to blame. * "I must be bad and awful." You certainly may feel like you are bad and awful because of what happened. But you are not bad and awful. These feelings you have are very real, and you may find it helpful to talk to someone you trust about them. The reality is that bad things happened to you, but you are NOT bad. Awful things happened to you, but you are NOT awful. * "I was aroused by what happened, so I must be lesbian." Or, "I was aroused by what happened, so I must have wanted it." Neither of these ideas are true. It can certainly be confusing to experience feelings of arousal when being abused by a woman, and it makes sense that you might wonder if this means that you are lesbian. It doesn't. Here's some information that might be helpful: Becoming sexually aroused, or turned on, in an abusive situation does NOT mean that we wanted to be abused, and it has nothing to do with being gay or straight. It has to do with how our bodies are designed. A woman's body, like a man's body, is designed to respond to physical touch. It doesn't know whether a woman or a man is doing the touching. It also doesn't know whether the situation is mutually agreed to or abusive. All it "knows" is that it is being touched and that it feels good. Even without being touched directly, a sexual situation like abuse can result in physical arousal, whether or not there is any pleasure in the situation. If you have been abused, there are places you can get help. |
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