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If I'm lesbian does that mean I have to act a certain way? What choices are available for someone who experiences same-sex attraction? If you are in your late teens and experience feelings of attraction to other guys, there are many choices available beyond being sexually active. You need to carefully consider what is right for youl. Some choices have different benefits and/or risks. For example, promiscuous sexual behaviour can put your physical or emotional health at risk, while delaying sexual involvement until in a marriage or partnership can protect both your physical and emotional health. Additionally, you my need to consider any religious or moral codes that you connect to and their views about sexuality. If you belong to a particular faith group, it will be helpful to consider what they say about these choices and whether you will adopt their reasoning and boundaries. The following is a list of some of the choices that are available and includes choices we would NOT recommend: 1.Behaviour: Some people who experience same-sex attraction choose to: * not be sexually active. They may choose to remain single. Some will choose to live in intentional community with others with whom they can experience belonging and a sense of family. And some may find a life companion with whom they share a non-sexual committed friendship. * be sexually active with various same-sex partners without consideration of commitment or how well they know the other person. * wait until they are in a committed relationship with someone of the same sex before being sexually active. This is sometimes called chastity. While sexual activity certainly gets more publicity, many people are quietly deciding to wait until entering a partnership or marriage and wait to find that special person with whom they want to spend their life. * decide to be get married to someone of the opposite sex. (Please note: heterosexual marriage is NOT a "cure" for same-sex attraction, and should only be considered if you truly love someone and are both emotionally and sexually attracted to them. Any serious relationship should involve complete honesty -- if the other person really loves you, they will want to listen and understand, whatever the situation about any attractions you have or previously had to the same sex. This kind of marriage may be called a mixed orientation marriage and can only thrive with complete honesty, authenticity, commitment and hard work.) 2. Fantasy: Some people who experience same-sex attraction choose to: * fantasize about others of the same sex. * entertain only certain kinds of fantasies, and not others. * do their best not to fantasize at all about sexual involvement with others. 3. Identity: Some people who experience same-sex attraction choose to: * identify themselves as gay. * identify themselves as a person who experiences same-sex attraction rather than as a person who is gay. 4. Attractions: Some people who experience same-sex attraction choose to: * live with their attractions as they are, without trying to modify them. * see if there are ways to reduce their attractions to people of the same sex. |
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