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Is it possible for a person who is gay to become straight?

It may be possible but it is not likely.  It is normal for young people to experience some confusion and questions around the sexual attraction they experience.  And not everyone who has experienced some attraction to someone of their own gender is gay.  But for those who experience very persistent and predominant attractions to their own gender, they may have very little control over affecting the direction of those attractions.  While some people do experience some fluidity in their attractions, and some people may experience their attractions fluctuating and shifting over time - it may be more likely that they were better described as bi-sexual in the first place. 

There are people who have worked to experience a sense of mastery over their same-gender attractions and same-gender sexual behaviour.  For some people this may include being able to function well in a heterosexual marriage - though this is not usually indicative of a change in orientation.  Many others find that heterosexual marriage  is not feasible for them or fair to a potential spouse. There are also people who choose to not identify as gay because of their particular beliefs and values.  We have choices that we can make about our behaviour and how we identify ourselves.  And while some people who may be bisexual or experience fluidity in their attractions may be able to exert some control over their sexual attractions - most people with a dominant sexual orientation will have little control over the direction of their attractions. 

Over many years, we have heard many stories of people who tried to change their sexual orientation.  Many found this to be a negative experience.  Others found that they learned about themselves and dealt with various issues in their life - but didn't experience any change in their sexual attractions.  If you decide to explore the potential of fluidity in your experience of sexual attraction through therapy or some kind of support group, we encourage you to have very realistic expectations.  It may be very unlikely that you will experience any kind of orientation change.  If you encounter a counselor or group that promises easy or complete change in orientation, we would strongly encourage you to look for a different source of support.
 
The reality is, if you don't want to engage in same-gender sexual behaviour due to your beliefs and values, then it may be best for you to accept the fact that you experience same-gender attraction and that this attraction isn't likely to change.  Then you can direct your energies and attention to other areas of your life.  For example, "Tom" accepts that he is attracted to other guys but has decided to not pursue a sexual relationship.  He enjoys his group of friends, is excited about learning and growing through his undergrad program, and finds deep fulfillment in giving back to his community through volunteering at his local food bank.

Aren't people who say they've changed just pretending?

A person's story is precious and valuable.  As we've listened and really come to know same-gender attracted people on this journey we've chosen to take people at their word and simply "do life together".
One man's response to that kind of question was: "If I never was gay in the first place, why did I spend 10 years in gay bars and having sex with other men? If I am still gay, then why have these last 7 years with my wife been the most wonderful years of my life?" Who are we to argue with his story?

Of course, some people who say they've changed their orientations may just be pretending or may be exaggerating. And, as is sometimes suggested, some who say they've changed were attracted to both men and women to start off with. Rather than arguing or dissecting someone's story, we suggest fostering relationships where people can be honest, open and authentic.