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About us This site is produced by New Direction for Life Ministries, Inc., as a resource for young people of any or no faith. New Direction is a Canadian organization which works specifically with men and women who experience unwanted same gender attractions while respecting those who make other choices. If you've enjoyed this website, please consider supporting us financially. You can donate online here through New Direction's website and designate your donations towards Fretobeme.com. Freetobeme.com is about Choice. It is not about Coercion. We recognize that sexual attraction is not something that you consciously control. As a kid growing up, nobody chooses to be attracted to one sex or another. The debate over what causes sexual attraction to be directed one way or another is complex, and the best we can make of things is that it can be different from person to person and probably involves many factors including both biological and environmental. Whatever your attractions are, we can all make choices about what to do with our sexual desires. And in making those choices we are well served by acting in ways that take into account all of who we are, including both our attractions and our beliefs. Telling someone that they must act in a way that is contrary to their beliefs is harmful. This means that trying to force someone who has identified themselves as being gay that they must be straight is harmful. We're opposed to parents, families, friends or churches using coercion to try to change a person’'s orientation or identification against their will. At the same time, we recognize that some individuals may be same-gender attracted, and yet not choose to identify themselves as gay, or engage in sexual behavior with the same sex. We think trying to force an unwanted identity on such a person is equally wrong and potentially destructive. we believe that as long as individuals are free to choose for themselves that options are positive, not negative, and that enforcing ideas on others is what causes harm. Freetobeme.com is about relationships. We understand that this isn't about issues, it’s about real people. We are committed to building safe environments for people to ask questions, be honest, and know they are not going to be judged. We understand that sexuality is complex, and different people have different experiences. We are committed to honoring and respecting all people regardless of the direction or persistence of their sexual attractions. We are not focused on changing people’s sexual orientation. We do not have a “cure for gayness”.We do not promise that anyone making use of our resources will have a change in their attractions. We recognize that some people do have such a shift, and some of us have experienced it ourselves to varying degrees. We also recognize and lament that some people who have tried to change their orientation have been deeply hurt in the process. We do not advocate any therapeutic interventions that perpetuate shame, fear, or unrealistic expectations. Freetobeme.com is about holistic living, it is not about denial One of the most frequent misunderstandings about us is that we are advocating people living unhappy, repressed lives where they never deal honestly with their sexuality. Nothing could be further from the truth. We believe that people need to deal honestly with their sexual attractions, and to not do so will be harmful to them mentally, emotionally, spiritually and perhaps even physically. Where we encounter individuals who are in denial we attempt to offer them a safe place to understand and accept their attractions. We also understand that sexual attraction is not the only, or even the most important part of a person. Religious and personal convictions are other important parts of a person’s life. For many same-gender attracted people, acting on their sexual attractions would violate their personal beliefs and convictions. We recognize that experiencing conflict between one’s beliefs and sexual attractions is difficult. We seek to help people discover ways to authentically live their lives taking into account both their sexuality and their beliefs. For some people this means choosing to remain sexually abstinent. In our experience, celibacy isn’t an inherently harmful thing – but can lead to a wonderful life of loving and serving others. We honour those who choose singleness as the best alternative for their life and encourage others to treat them and their choice with dignity and respect. |
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